You’re spending sleepless nights wondering how to get your ex boyfriend back.
This guide can teach you how to get your ex boyfriend back fast by going through 6 steps that can change your life.
Maybe you’ve tried to make him change his mind, pleaded, fought, apologized. If you have, you probably made him believe he’s made the right choice. Don’t give in to despair. It’s not over yet.
Here’s the deal: Start reading these 6 steps to see how to get your ex back and be happily in love again.
Table of contents
Step #1 Silence treatment
Learn how to get him back by stopping every contact
Step #2 Reasons you parted ways
How to win him back by eliminating what caused the breakup, even if he has moved on
Step #3 Becoming happy without your ex
Get contented and draw him back to you
Step #4 Contact
Learn when and how to reach out
Step #5 Remind him of the good times
Techniques to make him remember that he loves you
Keep reading to learn more about how to win him back with these 6 steps. If you’re thinking:
But I want him back fast! This is fast, as much as it can be. Indeed, emotions are tricky, but they can be manipulated. So, essentially, you’ll become a sweet little cunning manipulator walking her way through this with ease.
Step #1 Silence treatment
1. How to win him back by stopping every contact?
From this moment on, stop every contact with your ex.
Don’t post anything on social networks. Don’t go to places he might see you. Let him ponder on what’s happened to you. When he broke up with you, he expected you to call. Do the opposite.
2. How to get your boyfriend back if you can’t stop contact?
If you work together, limit the contact to the minimum, meaning to only job-related matters. Be professional, as with any other person you work with.
Don’t let him see that you’re screaming inside “I want him back”! Play it cool.
If you live near each other, saying “Hi” with a smile will be enough.
If you’re wondering:
3. How long do I need to stay silent?
To begin with, at least for two weeks. But it’s actually optional whether you’ll keep doing that or stop at one point. Due to the fact that every relationship is different, adjust the time to your own situation.
Basically, until you deal with your emotions. When you feel that you can see him and not feel sad, that’s when you’re ready.
However, if he starts showing the signs his heart has melted earlier, or there’s a situation that you must contact him, do it.
In case you’re wondering how to get your ex boyfriend back easy by ignoring him, keep reading to find out.
4. Why is the silent treatment important?
This will help you understand how to get your ex boyfriend back using male psychology.
- His ego will be hurt. Men are driven by ego, most of the time. For this reason, he’ll subconsciously think that it’s not possible you’re over him already. He’ll start wondering what’s going on. Therefore, he’ll spend more and more time thinking about you, and eventually start missing you.
- It will give him time to realize he misses you. Let him have some time alone. Don’t worry, he can’t forget you that fast. Everywhere he goes, he’ll see a reminder of you. In a cafe where you used to drink coffee together, in certain smells and sounds.
- He won’t be expecting that. All he’ll be thinking about is why you aren’t calling. He’ll soon start wondering if you’ve moved on, start browsing your Facebook and Instagram page.
If you stay consistent, he won’t find out anything significant. Consequently, the curiosity will grow with each passing day.
- He’ll be more attracted to you if he is uncertain you still want him. Researches show that people are more attracted to those who aren’t available. Make yourself scarce. It will change his perception of you.
- It’ll give you time to heal and work on yourself. That’s most important of all. If you see him while still feeling sad and desperate, it will only drive him further away from you.
Keep following the steps to learn more about how to win him back fast.
Step #2 Reasons you parted ways
There are countless reasons why a relationship breaks. The same rules don’t apply to every situation. Here are some of the possible causes:
Reason 1 – You cheated
How to get your ex back when he broke up with you because you cheated?
Accept your part of the responsibility if you want to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back. You are not a monster for doing that. He probably had his fingers in it.
Here’s what might have caused you to be unfaithful:
- You lack self-esteem
You don’t feel appreciated and you seek validation elsewhere.
This isn’t something that can go away once you become aware of it. It’s rooted deep inside you. You should probably see a therapist about it.
In the meantime, read some self-help books. If you’re good at something, do it as often as you can and be proud of yourself.
- Your sex life was boring
Once the infatuation fades away and your relationship is on stable legs, the first signs of boredom start to show up. You start noticing the things he does that you don’t like.
What was the role of your ex in cheating?
The sex was probably boring to him also. But he didn’t say or do anything. You didn’t either, but it’s his fault as much as yours.
So, if you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back, know this:
You should set apart your actions from who you really are. Our actions do define us to some point.
But if you are essentially a nice person, one mistake doesn’t make you a monster. Learn how not to feel guilty and bad about something you did. You can’t erase what happened.
Read more to find out how to win him back fast and understand what you need to do to succeed.
Reason 2 – Your ex cheated on you
The same reasons apply in a reverse situation. Try to understand him, and accept your part of the responsibility.
Make sure to define what your role was in driving him into cheating.
How to get your ex boyfriend back when he has moved on?
If you’re skeptic and keep asking how to get your ex boyfriend back when he has moved on,
Don’t worry. Don’t think: “I will never make it when he’s ignoring me”. He’ll stop doing that once you start following these steps.
Most of these relationships are just a rebound relationships.
How to get him back and compete with the new girlfriend?
You don’t try to compete. Stick to the silence treatment. Work on your emotional well-being and try not to think about it.
Don’t think: ”I want my ex boyfriend back but he doesn’t want me”. He wants you, he just needs to be reminded of that.
Reason #3 Your ex says he doesn’t love you anymore
Why did he stop loving you and how to get him back?
- You were too needy
If you want to get your ex boyfriend back, let him have his space. That’s the purpose of the silent treatment.
No one wants their relationship to take away their personality and free time. When you get him back, you must pay attention to those little things if you wish for him to stay.
- You stopped seducing him
We all know what this means. You gain weight or don’t shave. You leave your hair messy and rarely use makeup.
Maybe it’s a shallow thing to say, but looks do matter. Moreover, it’s your strongest weapon.
Read on to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back by removing what was tearing you apart.
- You weren’t compatible
Compatibility can be made. Never mind that you don’t like same things, or your characters differ. It can all be fixed with some effort and compromise.
How many times he wanted to do something yet you didn’t? How many times did you compromise? If you weren’t ready to compromise, that’s your answer.
- He didn’t feel appreciated enough
Men love being admired. It’s in their biology. There are lots of things women do that make their men feel unappreciated. You enjoyed your relationship. You were thankful for all the things he did for you.
How often did you actually say that out loud?
Keep reading if you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back
Reason #4 He doesn’t see a future with you
How to get your ex boyfriend back when you are so different?
Ask yourself what made him think that way. There are several crucial subjects in every relationship that define whether it has a future.
Here are some of them:
This is a sensitive subject, and every relationship comes to the point when this should be discussed.
Maybe you mentioned that having children is not your priority or the situation was reversed. You want to have children and he doesn’t.
Can this be fixed?
Stop thinking “I want him back”. There’s a bigger picture here.
It is important that you ponder on this and figure out if this is something you can compromise on. If not, it’s probably better you stopped pursuing him.
You should share the same life goals or at least compromise about them.
If you love someone, you should be able to move heaven and earth to be with that someone. Not being ready to make sacrifices in a relationship shows him that you don’t care enough.
- Commitment issues
Commitment issues are often associated with men, but women have them too.
It is possible that you haven’t been aware that you have the relationship anxiety.
If you were showing any of the signs, it’s probably the reason he left you.
Step #3 Becoming happy without your ex
The silence treatment isn’t over yet. You’ll use that time to work on yourself and become the best version of yourself.
Your goal at this stage won’t be figuring out how to get your ex boyfriend back. No, your goal will be to become happier. Because that’s what you should be. With or without him.
1. How to get your ex boyfriend back by becoming contented?
Erase the sentence „I want him back“ from your brain. You want yourself to be contented and you think that he can give it to you. Dealing with your own happiness will occupy you and you won’t have time to think about him.
Keep reading to see how to get your ex boyfriend back and be happy with yourself.
2. How to become happier?
Sit down and make a list of things that make you happy.
Start doing those one by one. Here are some suggestions on what you should do while you’re wondering how to get your ex back, depending on the type of a person you are.
Type 1 – A sporty
If you are a sporty person and care about your health and looks, you are probably already fit.
What would probably make you happy, is taking part in a marathon if you are a runner. Perhaps becoming a certified fitness instructor if you are a gym addict.
Sure, it’ll take some effort, but that’s what we are looking for. Things to occupy your mind while you’re giving him space and time to forget the old you.
Type 2 – A chubby
If, on the other hand, you have a few pounds extra, commit yourself to losing them. You don’t lack motivation, so go for it!
Not only that it’ll help you get back with your ex, but you’ll feel better, lighter and healthier.
Keep learning how to get your ex boyfriend back while making yourself feel better
Type 3 – A traveler
If you’ve always dreamed of traveling through Europe and seeing the world, leave everything behind and go for it.
Post only one photo of you having fun in a bar, surrounded by happy people. It’ll tickle his imagination to the point you can’t imagine!
Type 4 – A spirited soul
If you are a spiritual person, take a look at the law of attraction principles. Commit yourself to exploring all the ways you can use it. Go to a yoga class and meditate.
Type 5 – A realist
If on the other hand, you stand firmly on the ground, that doesn’t stop you from seeing things from a brighter angle.
Don’t think: “How to win him back when he’s ignoring me.” Think about how great your relationship will be once you get back together. That’s an optimistic point of view.
Type 6 – An Outdoorsy
If you are an outdoor person, go for a walk every day or ride a bike. Make time, you can spare an hour a day for doing what you love.
Type 7 – An Indoor person
If, on the other hand, you like to spend time indoors, commit to making your home the warmest place on the earth. Change the drapes, wallpapers, furniture.
3. How to get your boyfriend back while dating?
If it will make you happy, start seeing other people.
Don’t use another person just to make your ex jealous. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t date as long as you really like someone and your ex is not your priority.
But if you’re still thinking “I want him back”, it’s not a good move to date. Especially if you broke up because you cheated.
4. How to get your ex boyfriend back without using other men to make him jealous?
Other than dating again, there are other ways you can make your ex jealous. You’ll be having loads of fun, maybe won’t even think of him.
While he’ll be wondering who you’re with, and why you are so happy when you’re supposed to be suffering. His ego will kick in.
Keep reading to find out how to get your ex boyfriend back for good once he’s reached out.
Step #4 Contact
1. How to get your ex boyfriend back if he calls?
If you followed all the steps, you made him think that you don’t need him anymore and he will probably contact you first.
Once he does, it’s your job to show him that you are the same women who loved him, still improved. You don’t say it, it needs to show!
What to do when he contacts you?
Once he contacts you, he may be doing that to ask you to see him. If that’s the case, he’s toasted. If you’ve followed the steps on how to get him back, one more thing you’ll have to do is:
Keep reading to see how to get your ex boyfriend back for good on the first date. But that’s it!
You’re almost there!
2. How to get him back once you’ve started to communicate?
If he contacts you just to say hi, or ask how you’re doing, he is probably still on an ego trip. That doesn’t mean he wants to get back together with you.
Continue with caution.
Here are a few tips on how to get your ex boyfriend back by texting. Your texts shouldn’t say: “I want him back”! For the time being, conceal the fact that you still love him.
If the first time he sends you a text he says:
“Hey, just wanted to say Hi“!
You don’t answer to that. He’s just feeling the ground. His ego wants to hear that you miss him and love him. He’s trying to make you say it, so he feels better. That’s what he’ll expect. Don’t give it to him.
If he sends a text that says:
“Hey, what’s up“?
Answer that, but,
You DON’T say: “Hey honey, I’ve missed you so much! I love you“! Don’t show too much emotion.
What you DO say is:
“Hey! Not much. You“?
Be pleasant, but not too much. Be open for a conversation yet not eager and desperate. Read more on how to get your boyfriend back using tricks to make him keep texting you.
3. How to win him back and make him keep texting you?
- Ask him a question. However, imagine that he’s a new guy that you don’t have a history with.
- By all means, DON’T mention what’s happened between you two. Just keep it simple and positive.
- If you’ve exchanged a couple of texts, suddenly end the conversation. Tell him you have somewhere to be and stop texting.
He’ll be astonished. You’ll leave him wondering what’s more important than him. He won’t be able to resist sending you more texts to find out.
4. How to get your boyfriend back if he doesn’t contact you?
If your self-esteem is low and you’re thinking: “I want my ex boyfriend back but he doesn’t want me”, keep in mind this:
In the first days after the breakup, your ex will do everything he can to stop thinking about you. He will try to block any beautiful memory of you so he doesn’t feel bad.
Yet, whatever bad happened between you two, he can’t erase the good. Once the silence treatment is over, he should be done with cooling down and open for contact.
Maybe he’s afraid that you’re over him and his ego won’t let him call you first. If he’s the type of person who doesn’t know how to say sorry, take the first step. He probably needs a little push.
So, if you’re still thinking: “I want him back”, start taking some real action.
When is the right moment to reach out?
You’ll know when that happens. Your ex will show signs that he wants you back.
- If he sends you greetings through a friend. Or likes and comments on your photos on Facebook. That’s his way of reminding you of his existence.
- Calls you to give you something you left at his place, but that’s worthless. Like a book, or an umbrella. It’s just an excuse to see you.
- He makes contact with your family. He misses you, but he doesn’t know if you feel the same. This way he feels close to you. Moreover, he probably hopes to get some information about you.
- Shares your song on social networks. Or leaves gloomy comments. This is a cry for help and clear sign that he still has feelings for you. Probably meant for you to see.
Step #5 Remind him of the good times
Once you’ve reestablished contact, start talking about happy memories. This will rekindle the love he felt for you. If you want to truly understand how to win him back, keep this in mind:
Don’t use the word “remember”; it will be obvious that you are trying to evoke the old memories. Read some examples how to get your ex boyfriend back using the pleasant memories.
1. How to get your boyfriend back by playing the family card?
When he asks you: “How was weekend?”
If he loved being with your family, you may say: „My parents had a barbecue“.
Then tell him an anecdote about your mother or father doing something really funny. He’ll feel as if he’s missing out on something. He’ll wish for those moments of happiness to repeat many more times.
2. How to win him back by playing the jealousy card?
If he says: „What have you been up to today“?
Your answer should be:
„ I went to the park (café, mall, restaurant) next to my workplace with a friend from work“.
It has to be a place where you had some memorable moments full of love. This way, you’ll be doing two things.
The first thing that will come to his mind is: “Who is that friend? Is he her new boyfriend“? He doesn’t even know if it’s a woman or a man, but his first thought will be that you’ve moved on. Needless to say, don’t do this if the reason you broke up was your infidelity.
What happens next is; his mind becomes flooded with warm feelings he felt when you were together in that park. You are slowly reminding him that he still has strong feelings for you.
Here is another example on how to get your ex boyfriend back by reminding him of the good times:
3. How to get him back by playing the shared interests card?
If you share a passion for anything, let’s say wines, use that. If he asks you: “What were you doing last night?”
Answer like this:
“I had dinner with friends and we drank some great wine. We had so much fun”!
He will remember all the dinners and parties when you two had fun trying out new wines. There mustn’t be any unpleasant event associated with the object of shared passion you are reminding him of. Choose wisely and don’t be obvious.
Keep triggering his feeling by reminding him why he fell for you in the first place.
4. How to get your boyfriend back by making a list of the good times?
It will be easier if you make a list of all the good times you shared.
Here’s a tip:
Choose only those times that were great for both of you from the beginning to the end. There mustn’t be any bad memories associated with them.
Then use those memories to your advantage whenever you two talk or text. Don’t use the word “remember”. He needs to think that it comes from him, not you.
Unless you do this right, he might feel manipulated.
5. How to get your ex boyfriend back by reminding him how good you are?
- If he loved your jokes, be funny.
- If he loved your smile, smile as much as you can.
- If he loved you for being supportive, ask him about his day and listen. Let him tell you all about it. Be interested and comfort him if something bad happened.
What’s the bottom line? You’ll be working him for some time and eventually, he’ll call you out.
If you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back and make him stay, read the last step.
Step #6 Seal the deal
1. How to get your boyfriend back and seal the deal on the first date?
Be yourself, don’t fake it. If you did the previous two steps right, the change should be visible, without you trying.
Don’t try to convince him that you’re someone you’re not. You are different now, but still the same. He loved you once and he knows you very well.
2. Should you talk about the problems that caused the breakup on the first date?
Once you’re there, let him take the lead. Don’t talk about your relationship if he doesn’t. You have yet to discover where he stands.
You might get back on the first date, but on the other hand, it might take a little longer. Don’t try to define your relationship at the first date.
Just look adorable and be sweet. You shouldn’t, by any means, bring up the subject of your breakup.
He needs to forget that.
3. How to get your boyfriend back if he insists on talking about the breakup?
If in any case, he does want to talk about the problems that caused the breakup, show him you understand why he left you.
Accept your part of the responsibility. But don’t allow the subject to be on the table for too long.
Just say something like this:
„Let’s talk about it some other time, I don’t want things to get awkward between us now“.
If you go too deep into it, he might remember all the bad things that led him to leave you. There are a few more tricks that will teach you how to win him back fast.
Here’s another secret:
4. How to get him back by playing hard to get?
If you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back for good, You’ll have to play hard to get.
You might think that this will slow things down. When you’ve missed him so much and worked so hard to get this far.
This is a crucial step to make him believe you’re the only one for him. Keep reading to see how to get him back for good with this special trick.
The key to doing this right is:
Don’t be too available. By now he should be aware that he still loves you and wants you. Making him worried that he made a mistake leaving you and that it’s too late now is the last thing to do.
This will speed everything up.
5. How to get him back using the cat and mouse game?
First, do something that says that you want him back. If he asks you if you’ve missed him, tell the truth. He’ll be happy to hear that. He will feel confident that you love him and haven’t moved on.
Next, do something that says you don’t care.
Don’t answer to every text he sends you. Skip one or two. This will take his confidence away and he’ll think that you are moving on.
Can everyone play this game?
Play this cat and mouse game with him and alternate from interested to uninterested several times. You’ll see quickly that his interest in you has increased massively.
However, if you broke up because you had commitment issue, don’t use this tactic. Be available all the time, that way you’ll show him that you’re past your anxiety.
6. What to do if he asks you to get back together?
What you need to do is be mature and self-confident as you are now after all the steps you’ve gone through. Admit your part of the responsibility and commit to making it work this time.
At this point, it’s not a question anymore how to get your ex boyfriend back, but how to make it work once he’s back.
Promise to each other that you’ll never stay quiet to what bothers you. Never forget the reasons that led to the breakup in the first place, and he’s yours for life.
Now that you’ve learned how to get your ex boyfriend back, go get him!