If you want to know how to win back your ex, then you need to understand some basic rules. And one of the most basic — and essential — of those rules is the no contact rule.
So, stop screaming “I want my ex back!” and do something about it.
To learn more about this rule, keep reading…
What is the No Contact Rule?
The question of how to win back your ex goes hand in hand with this rule, and if you want your ex boyfriend or girlfriend back, then you need to understand it.
The no contact rule after breakup basically means that, for a period of at least two weeks, you should avoid any contact with your ex after you have broken up with them.
This applies regardless of how the relationship ended and regardless of whether you’re a man that was dating a woman, a woman that was dating a man, or someone dating someone of the same sex.
The no contact rule is universal, and it works for most relationships.
What’s The Point Of The NC Rule And How Long Should I Wait?
This is entirely down to you and how your mind works, but your ex also plays a role. The main point of the no contact rule is it gives you time to heal after the breakup, and it also gives your ex some time to calm down.
If you act straight away then you are acting when you are raw, emotional and unstable, which won’t help you to get your ex back. But with the no contact rule, you have the time you need.
Typically, you should wait at least a couple of weeks, as this is what most people feel that they need, but it all depends on what works best for you.
Understanding The No Contact Rule
Just in case this information isn’t getting through, or just incase you’re in denial (as so often happens following a breakup), here’s the bottom line:
- No Telephone Calls
- No Text Messages
- No Emails
- No Instant Messages
- No Letters
- No Notes
That’s not it either, as the no contact rule to get ex back goes much deeper than that.
- Do Not Hangout With Them (Even If They Arranged It)
- Do Not Answer The Phone To Them Or Reply To Their Messages
- Avoid Bumping Into Them
- Keep Their Friends And Family At Bay
Getting The No Contact Rule Right
If you go into this thinking that the NC rule is all about making them miss you, then you’re going about it the wrong way.
If it does make your ex miss you, then that’s great, but that’s only a bonus and it’s not the by all and end all of this rule.
This is all about you. It’s all about looking after number 1, because as soon as you start to look after yourself, then you can start to be the person that your ex will fall in love with again.
How To Win Back Your Ex If You Broke This Rule
No one is perfect, and even those with the best of intentions find themselves breaking the NC rule. Don’t worry, we understand — you’re weak, you’re hurting, and you’re still in love.
Don’t worry though, as it can still be salvaged and the question of how to win back your ex can still be answered effectively.
Here’s the deal:
- Be Complacent: If you arranged a meeting with your ex or you’re already involved in a dialogue, then simply pretend that you don’t care. Do not show them that you’re hurting and that you are still in love — doing so will only show them that they have power over you.
- Start From The Beginning: If you broke down on day 1, then start again the next day. If you broke down on day 10, then the next day will be day 1.
- Do Not Go All Or Nothing: It’s easy to think that just because you have broken the rule, you can go all out for at least the rest of the day, talking to them, meeting-up with them. But the sooner you cut them short, the better, otherwise you’ll just be making life difficult for yourself.
How To Stick To The NC Rule
You’re here because you want to know how to win back your ex and the simple truth is that the NC rule can advance you towards that goal. More importantly, not sticking to it and not giving yourself time to heal, could do irreparable damage.
Sticking to this rule is not always easy, but making certain changes and avoiding certain things will mean that the question of how to win back your ex is one that you won’t be asking for long.
So, to learn what you need to avoid doing, keep reading…
- Getting Drunk: It’s hard to resist sending a message or making a phone call when you’re drunk and your emotions take over.
- Using Drugs: Like alcohol, certain drugs (stimulants and empathogens especially) can stop you from being in control of your emotions and can make you do things you wouldn’t do sober.
- Going To Places Your Ex Frequents: Do not make major changes in your daily habits because of your ex, but if you know they spend a lot of time at a certain place, then do your best to avoid going there.
What If You Work With Your Ex?
This is a tricky question, but if you do work with your ex, then try to avoid calling in sick or taking time off. If you have some holidays coming up, then by all means take them now, but this is not necessary.
Instead, simply act professionally. Treat any conversation, meeting or cooperation as a strictly professional one.
Do what you can to work away from them and to spend less time with them in the workplace.
How To Win Back Your Ex With The No Contact Rule
You should use the no contact rule to get ex back. If you want to know how to win back your ex, there is no easier way.
After all, you don’t really have to do anything.
Once this period is over, then things will be much easier. Your ex may be missing you, they may have developed strong feelings for you.
More importantly, you will have given yourself time to heal, and that’s the essence of the no contact rule.
You can grow as a person because of this rule. After that growth period you may even decide that breaking up was the best thing for you and that you don’t want your ex back after all.